It's my birthday and so it seems as if I should post something to mark the passing of another year. It was just over 4 months ago that the diagnosis of prostate cancer surfaced. I was reflecting on that last night, and thinking about the changes in my life over the past year. Significant changes on several levels occurred and certainly this is one of the greatest of those.
At the same time the change in direction seems so serious it also has hidden benefits. I'm not quite sure how to talk about this, mainly because doing so seems to border on trivializing the situation, or at least it seems filled with the potential for platitude madness.
And I don't want to offer either trivial reflections or platitudes. But as I mentioned in the last post, I begin to see that this cancer, which seems to be something completely different (and less serious) than the cancers some of my friends have, has provided some focus, a sense of direction and a sequence of next steps that I needed. And that is good. But it seems like there is more...
Is it that the situation demanded so much research and learning? Is it because someone else is dictating a significant portion of my schedule? Or is it that there is something else, some meaning layered under the medical issues and procedures, some glimpse of something beyond words? Or (more likely), is it that I'm trying to find meaning where there is only the event, and no hidden meaning? A kind of "it is what it is"... and nothing more? Or maybe some combination of the above?
Ah, wandering thoughts on a cloudy day in December... and this will no doubt come up again... but it's enough for now.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment