Last post for 2009! Well, it's been a wild year, from start to finish... especially the finish. That's not to say it's been bad...just a different ride than I could imagine. And it continues to be that way.
I was thinking about riding my bike because I'm not feeling so sore from the seed implants, but neither of my doctors had said anything specific about the subject (and I probably forgot to ask). So the other day I started doing some searches on the topics of brachytherapy and bicycling, or seed implants and bicycling, and was having some difficulty finding relevant information. Then I came across a pdf document that said something to the effect that I should stay away from motorcycle riding and bicycle riding for 4 to 6 months after having seed implants. Short story: that info is incorrect.
It would have made me nuts... nevermind the people who live with me...to wait that long. So I called both of my doctors. The urologist asked if I was having any bleeding still going on (no) and if not, they thought I could go ride. The radiation oncologist's office said, essentially, listen to your body...if it hurts, don't do it... but they didn't have any problem with me trying. There's a catch with this last one, of course...
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Post Christmas post (for lack of a better title)
In the past week or so I've been to the urologist for a post procedure chat, had some changes in the side-effect picture, and today had my 2nd (of 4, I think) Trelstar injections.
The chat with my urologist went well. I was prepared for his usual doctor-macabre sense of humor, but there was none of that. Instead, he said the procedure had gone very well, there was no evidence of any infection (they take a urine sample almost every time you walk through the door) ...which was good, and if I hadn't asked a couple of questions, that would have been the end of it.
I had some bleeding going on (from hemorroids) and asked if the FloMax I'm taking might be causing that... and he said it was more likely due to the ultrasound probe being in there for over an hour. I said I thought the bleeding was getting less frequent, and he said that if it kept going that direction it was nothing to worry about.
The chat with my urologist went well. I was prepared for his usual doctor-macabre sense of humor, but there was none of that. Instead, he said the procedure had gone very well, there was no evidence of any infection (they take a urine sample almost every time you walk through the door) ...which was good, and if I hadn't asked a couple of questions, that would have been the end of it.
I had some bleeding going on (from hemorroids) and asked if the FloMax I'm taking might be causing that... and he said it was more likely due to the ultrasound probe being in there for over an hour. I said I thought the bleeding was getting less frequent, and he said that if it kept going that direction it was nothing to worry about.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Radioactive Man - 1 Week Down
Well, it's really a week plus a couple of days since I became Radioactive Man... and this will be a mercifully short post because there just isn't much to report. OK...that's a lie. There is a lot to report, but it's not all that interesting.
How am I doing on the 9th day since the implants? Well, it's not bad, really. I'm doing most of the activities I was doing before (except bicycling... I haven't gotten back on the bike yet). I'm a bit fatigued, which has led to getting up later in the morning, and a tendency to feel nappy in the afternoon. I noticed a bit of a melancholy mood the other day, which I immediately ascribed to the hormones ... but who knows, really?
And other than that, the frequency with which I visit the bathroom has increased considerably. I've also noticed that some sitting postures are awkward, or uncomfortable, and that I'm better off standing, for the most part.
I suspect the sitting problems are due to the prostate getting swollen as a result of the seeds, or the procedure, or both and wonder when it will abate. I also wonder, looking at the picture of all those little titanium bits in me, if riding a bicycle will ever be the same again. I hope so, because I have a lot of places I still want to ride to!
That's it for now. It's late... time to make another bathroom run and then to sleep!
How am I doing on the 9th day since the implants? Well, it's not bad, really. I'm doing most of the activities I was doing before (except bicycling... I haven't gotten back on the bike yet). I'm a bit fatigued, which has led to getting up later in the morning, and a tendency to feel nappy in the afternoon. I noticed a bit of a melancholy mood the other day, which I immediately ascribed to the hormones ... but who knows, really?
And other than that, the frequency with which I visit the bathroom has increased considerably. I've also noticed that some sitting postures are awkward, or uncomfortable, and that I'm better off standing, for the most part.
I suspect the sitting problems are due to the prostate getting swollen as a result of the seeds, or the procedure, or both and wonder when it will abate. I also wonder, looking at the picture of all those little titanium bits in me, if riding a bicycle will ever be the same again. I hope so, because I have a lot of places I still want to ride to!
That's it for now. It's late... time to make another bathroom run and then to sleep!
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Numbers
Reading over the list of effects after the brachytherapy (seed implants) I think the initial flurry of changes - more getting up at night, some pain associated with elimination, and some mild discomfort - are more likely due to the procedure and catheter than from the seeds. Most of the discomfort is waning, or gone, which is fine with me. I'm basically a wimp when it comes to pain. However, according to some reports, it will come back. Well, thank you, Voice of Doom.
That's kind of the way of this. Add to that the power of suggestion: a friend mentions that they thought of the seeds in me as "pins and needles" and half an hour later I could swear I feel little pin/needle pricks in a relevant area. Gee... thanks! So, anyone got one of those pain (placebo) pills? I'll take it.
But that's not really what I wanted to talk about.
That's kind of the way of this. Add to that the power of suggestion: a friend mentions that they thought of the seeds in me as "pins and needles" and half an hour later I could swear I feel little pin/needle pricks in a relevant area. Gee... thanks! So, anyone got one of those pain (placebo) pills? I'll take it.
But that's not really what I wanted to talk about.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
On my birthday...
It's my birthday and so it seems as if I should post something to mark the passing of another year. It was just over 4 months ago that the diagnosis of prostate cancer surfaced. I was reflecting on that last night, and thinking about the changes in my life over the past year. Significant changes on several levels occurred and certainly this is one of the greatest of those.
At the same time the change in direction seems so serious it also has hidden benefits. I'm not quite sure how to talk about this, mainly because doing so seems to border on trivializing the situation, or at least it seems filled with the potential for platitude madness.
And I don't want to offer either trivial reflections or platitudes. But as I mentioned in the last post, I begin to see that this cancer, which seems to be something completely different (and less serious) than the cancers some of my friends have, has provided some focus, a sense of direction and a sequence of next steps that I needed. And that is good. But it seems like there is more...
Is it that the situation demanded so much research and learning? Is it because someone else is dictating a significant portion of my schedule? Or is it that there is something else, some meaning layered under the medical issues and procedures, some glimpse of something beyond words? Or (more likely), is it that I'm trying to find meaning where there is only the event, and no hidden meaning? A kind of "it is what it is"... and nothing more? Or maybe some combination of the above?
Ah, wandering thoughts on a cloudy day in December... and this will no doubt come up again... but it's enough for now.
At the same time the change in direction seems so serious it also has hidden benefits. I'm not quite sure how to talk about this, mainly because doing so seems to border on trivializing the situation, or at least it seems filled with the potential for platitude madness.
And I don't want to offer either trivial reflections or platitudes. But as I mentioned in the last post, I begin to see that this cancer, which seems to be something completely different (and less serious) than the cancers some of my friends have, has provided some focus, a sense of direction and a sequence of next steps that I needed. And that is good. But it seems like there is more...
Is it that the situation demanded so much research and learning? Is it because someone else is dictating a significant portion of my schedule? Or is it that there is something else, some meaning layered under the medical issues and procedures, some glimpse of something beyond words? Or (more likely), is it that I'm trying to find meaning where there is only the event, and no hidden meaning? A kind of "it is what it is"... and nothing more? Or maybe some combination of the above?
Ah, wandering thoughts on a cloudy day in December... and this will no doubt come up again... but it's enough for now.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Side effects (round trois)
Warning: I intend to touch on effects that might not be discussed in polite company. If you're at all squeamish, I advise bailing on this one now. (Of course that will make almost anyone just have to continue!)
But first, the expected effects of the radioactive seeds is making itself known already. Last night I was up about twice as often to use the bathroom. And eliminating is hard, it hurts (what extent of that is due to having had a catheter is not clear, but it hurts), the stream is weak and stops several times before I think I'm done. All of this is what I was told will happen. So, I guess it's working, because it would be an incredibly silly thing if it didn't work. Especially at these prices. And I'm a bit tender in what I assume is the area the needles went in.
OK... more to the point, this treatment regimen I'm doing has some attractive things about it - given my pathology:
But there's another thing that I haven't found discussed anywhere, which is not to say that it isn't out there.
But first, the expected effects of the radioactive seeds is making itself known already. Last night I was up about twice as often to use the bathroom. And eliminating is hard, it hurts (what extent of that is due to having had a catheter is not clear, but it hurts), the stream is weak and stops several times before I think I'm done. All of this is what I was told will happen. So, I guess it's working, because it would be an incredibly silly thing if it didn't work. Especially at these prices. And I'm a bit tender in what I assume is the area the needles went in.
OK... more to the point, this treatment regimen I'm doing has some attractive things about it - given my pathology:
- It's less invasive than doing a full-blown radical prostatectomy.
- Recent data indicates somewhat better survival rates 10 years out, and lower reoccurrence rates
But there's another thing that I haven't found discussed anywhere, which is not to say that it isn't out there.
Friday, December 11, 2009
The day after seed implants...
 | The Further Adventures of RadioActive ManReturn with us now to the time of yesterday when the lights were turned off and I glowed in the dark... sorta | |
Man... it is hard to keep a straight face after a lead-in like that. But maybe I'm too close to the subject. I'll try and relate the story, or what I can remember of it, because a great deal of it is just a blank. Really. Scary how blank it is, but that's a general anesthetic for ya. One minute you're chatting away, and the next... well... you're waking up somewhere else. So, for the next couple of weeks I'm told I can set off radiation detectors at the airport. But it won't last. Cesium, the radioactive part of the titanium seeds they implanted, has a 9.5 day half-life, so the amount of radiation is going to go down fairly soon.
We arrived at the hospital where the procedure was being done just before 10am and were directed to a bay in the surgical prep area and as soon as one of the nurses came over I was directed to undress and get in a hospital gown. So.. I did that and got on the bed/gurney and the nurse came back and hooked me up to a warming device. Turned out the gown had a kind of lining that they pumped warm air into. Very nice. I played with seeing how big I could make my chest and stuff... while Ginny cringed and (I'm making this up) said she was just a close friend.
And then, surprise surprise surprise... they began asking me all the questions they'd asked the day before. And talk about cumbersome user interfaces. This one looked like it had been a direct port from some old mainframe panel-driven interface into a web-based form model. Anyway, we filled out the form and joked around with the nurse... and then we were visited by the OR nurse, and then the Anesthesiologist dropped by to chat for a few minutes. Each of them confirmed that I knew my name and birthday (and that those matched who they thought they were going to work on). They split and yet another nurse came to wheel me in to the OR.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
T'was the night before...
... brachytherapy... and all through the house...
Oh forget it. I couldn't begin to keep that up. :-)
In a flurry of activity last night I re-read some instructions from one of the doctor's offices and discovered that in the midst of appointment fu (aka, one of the doctors' offices moving appointments) I had missed the instruction to go to the surgical admitting guys at the hospital and get blood taken, an EKG done, and a chest x-ray... and I panicked. Called that office this morning and they were all 'no big deal... just get them done today" so instead of being at work this afternoon I was over doing those things at the hospital.
Hospitals are amazing things in so many ways. So much paper! So much repetitive data collected. But hey! They were having a sale! No kidding. They'd worked out all the financial details with the insurance company already, and If I paid my co-pay early, I got almost a $400 discount! I went for it. Duh!
Nifty fact: During the chest x-ray I found out that I have lungs that won't fit on one slide of an x-ray. The technician was all about it... and kept calling different people in and marveling over it. He asked if i was a swimmer (I have been... but not for the last few years)... because he's evidently seen some correlation there. You may wonder, as I have, what a chest x-ray has to do with prostate stuff... and I have no idea.
Anyway, the next big step is tomorrow: the radioactive seeds get implanted and I become Radioactive Man! Woot! I realize, looking back on the day, that I've gone through some unexplainable anger, then some feeling sorry for myself, a bit of being fearful about the procedure and my reaction to it (the last one being a typical pre-surgery thing for me) and then (finally) back to where I started, which is that this is just another step along the way.
Most of all I am really thankful for family and friends. The support and love is incredible.
Oh forget it. I couldn't begin to keep that up. :-)
In a flurry of activity last night I re-read some instructions from one of the doctor's offices and discovered that in the midst of appointment fu (aka, one of the doctors' offices moving appointments) I had missed the instruction to go to the surgical admitting guys at the hospital and get blood taken, an EKG done, and a chest x-ray... and I panicked. Called that office this morning and they were all 'no big deal... just get them done today" so instead of being at work this afternoon I was over doing those things at the hospital.
Hospitals are amazing things in so many ways. So much paper! So much repetitive data collected. But hey! They were having a sale! No kidding. They'd worked out all the financial details with the insurance company already, and If I paid my co-pay early, I got almost a $400 discount! I went for it. Duh!
Nifty fact: During the chest x-ray I found out that I have lungs that won't fit on one slide of an x-ray. The technician was all about it... and kept calling different people in and marveling over it. He asked if i was a swimmer (I have been... but not for the last few years)... because he's evidently seen some correlation there. You may wonder, as I have, what a chest x-ray has to do with prostate stuff... and I have no idea.
Anyway, the next big step is tomorrow: the radioactive seeds get implanted and I become Radioactive Man! Woot! I realize, looking back on the day, that I've gone through some unexplainable anger, then some feeling sorry for myself, a bit of being fearful about the procedure and my reaction to it (the last one being a typical pre-surgery thing for me) and then (finally) back to where I started, which is that this is just another step along the way.
Most of all I am really thankful for family and friends. The support and love is incredible.
Monday, December 7, 2009
Post pre-op indications and experience
Brief warning... some of this is me being silly. And it may get somewhat graphic... but it's hard to predict at the outset where I'm going with these things..
Late last week I did the doctor dance in preparation for the seed implants. I saw my urologist and my radiation oncologist in one mondo doctor fun day full of information, probing, probing questions, and scans. It even yielded a new and different CT scan methodology! I keep finding new procedural things to laugh about. Or at least things that make me do my best impression of my German Shepherd cocking her head with that "wtf?" look (actually, my German Shepherd is more polite).
Summary version for the ones who want to skip all the wordz:
I asked why that was such a great volume. Well, he said, too small and the seed placement gets difficult, and too large and (weird simile coming up) we get into what he likes to call the 'imploding star' problem. (Imagine me giving him a blank look here.) "You know," he said, "the star goes red giant and then collapses into a white dwarf... so a prostate that's too big... gets the seeds implanted but then shrinks and some things don't work as well... " I nodded my head to shake the metaphor loose. It was beginning to hurt.
Late last week I did the doctor dance in preparation for the seed implants. I saw my urologist and my radiation oncologist in one mondo doctor fun day full of information, probing, probing questions, and scans. It even yielded a new and different CT scan methodology! I keep finding new procedural things to laugh about. Or at least things that make me do my best impression of my German Shepherd cocking her head with that "wtf?" look (actually, my German Shepherd is more polite).
Summary version for the ones who want to skip all the wordz:
- The hormone treatment has done what they wanted it to.
- The prostate volume is perfect.
- We're a "go" for the seed implants (on Dec. 10th)
I asked why that was such a great volume. Well, he said, too small and the seed placement gets difficult, and too large and (weird simile coming up) we get into what he likes to call the 'imploding star' problem. (Imagine me giving him a blank look here.) "You know," he said, "the star goes red giant and then collapses into a white dwarf... so a prostate that's too big... gets the seeds implanted but then shrinks and some things don't work as well... " I nodded my head to shake the metaphor loose. It was beginning to hurt.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Preparing for the next big step
Late post... no big deal really, just thinking about tomorrow, which is the prep phase before they turn me into Radioactive Man. Because of the scheduling shifts that my urologist had to do, I get ALL of the prep steps on the same day. Oh la!
So... we start with another ultrasound bit at the urologist, which is the same as the beginning of the biopsy procedure. This means another round with the wonderful anal probe, or as I named it last time, the Alien Probe (AP). Then a consult with the urologist. About the time I get done with that I need to head over to the radiation oncologist's office, where they'll do a CT scan to check placement of things and (I think) decide on what pattern of seeds to implant. Of course I am projecting all of this and tomorrow will tell how close my projections are. Oooh... I can hardly wait to find out how close I am. Or was. Whatever.
Am I worried about tomorrow? Not really. But the seed implant procedure still has me a bit stressed. I'm hoping to learn enough tomorrow to help ease that somewhat. That procedure is a week away.
So... we start with another ultrasound bit at the urologist, which is the same as the beginning of the biopsy procedure. This means another round with the wonderful anal probe, or as I named it last time, the Alien Probe (AP). Then a consult with the urologist. About the time I get done with that I need to head over to the radiation oncologist's office, where they'll do a CT scan to check placement of things and (I think) decide on what pattern of seeds to implant. Of course I am projecting all of this and tomorrow will tell how close my projections are. Oooh... I can hardly wait to find out how close I am. Or was. Whatever.
Am I worried about tomorrow? Not really. But the seed implant procedure still has me a bit stressed. I'm hoping to learn enough tomorrow to help ease that somewhat. That procedure is a week away.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Wading through the information everglades
Key question posed by my radiation oncologist: "What is your biggest frustration?" Answer: "Finding information specific to my situation and correlating it."
This post, is an attempt to provide a map for anyone with the same frustration. I'm not sure it will work as a list... we'll see. I'll put most of these on the extended page because this might get long.
This post, is an attempt to provide a map for anyone with the same frustration. I'm not sure it will work as a list... we'll see. I'll put most of these on the extended page because this might get long.
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