Numbers

Reading over the list of effects after the brachytherapy (seed implants) I think the initial flurry of changes - more getting up at night, some pain associated with elimination, and some mild discomfort - are more likely due to the procedure and catheter than from the seeds.  Most of the discomfort is waning, or gone, which is fine with me.  I'm basically a wimp when it comes to pain.  However, according to some reports, it will come back.  Well, thank you, Voice of Doom.

That's kind of the way of this. Add to that the power of suggestion: a friend mentions that they thought of the seeds in me as "pins and needles" and half an hour later I could swear I feel little pin/needle pricks in a relevant area.  Gee... thanks!  So, anyone got one of those pain (placebo) pills?  I'll take it.

But that's not really what I wanted to talk about. 

 I was thinking about other numbers associated with many of the measurements in so much of the information related to this disease.  And, outside of some (but not all) of the research papers I've read, they can get downright silly.  For example (and forgive me - I don't mean to single out any one source, but these hit me as I was thinking about them this morning): Check out the section on Sex after Brachytherapy over on prostate-cancer.com.  You have to read... which is a problem.... but according to this, about 5% of people undergoing brachytherapy report completely dry orgasms, and 5% report exactly the opposite...but what about the 90% in the middle?  What is the variety of their experience? And what is the sample size? (no pun intended, really)

It makes me a bit nuts, to tell you the truth.  It goes right along with the numbers associated with erectile dysfunction, which essentially say it works or it doesn't work.  Essentially, the top and the bottom groups (oh! could they be the top 5% and the bottom 5%?) are cited, but anyone in the middle is too gray to be definitive. I understand the need for numbers, but they need to mean something to the people who are living with the changes in their lives associated with this disease.

Of course, I have no useful solution to that dilemma, just the dissatisfaction with the way things are now.  It would be much harder to run statistical analysis on data that is not clear cut. Too many variables.  Listen to me... it sounds as if I know whereof I speak.  I don't. 

I just want to see some way for a person like me to be able to wade through the mountain of general drivel and get down to some specifics.  And maybe that's just too hard to do so no one attempts it.  The Partin tables are one step... and a significant one.

One last thing... not having anything to do with numbers.  While writing this I noticed a distinct hesitancy to use the word "disease" in reference to this cancer I have. I'm not sure why, other than some part of me who is still screaming "there's nothing wrong with me!!".  I still hear my urologist's words with some disgust (because they were shocking to me): "You look the picture of health... but you're not."  (Smile) But what is it that does not want to use the word "disease"? 

More to ponder...