Catching up...

Well, it has been too long since my last post, as I was gently but firmly reminded recently. And what could I say but "no duh!?!"... and try and get on with what is going on in my head and heart as the treatment progresses.
Nothing. I could say nothing.  But I'll try.

The last couple of months have been hard ones and busy as well. My wife's father passed away and I had a really good relationship with him.  And there was a flurry of activity with that. And this week a close friend, and another cancer patient (albeit a different kind), passed away.  And that is hard.  But no more than anyone else has experienced.  It is, as Robinson Jeffers said, "...exactly conterminous with human existence".

For my part, the PSA count being down to a negligible number is a good thing, but I'm not done yet. The research data indicated that being on hormone treatments for a year was necessary, and I won't reach that point until the end of September.  So, I find myself being impatient, now that there is an end to the hormone deprivation in sight.  But that doesn't mean a return to my old self the next day. The doctor indicated it could be about 6 months before a new state of "normal" returns, and like it or not, I have not out-performed a single time estimate throughout this treatment regimen.  So, let's see... that means it could be March of 2011 before I feel something different physically and mentally.  Oh la!

The wearing thing about the hormone treatments is that I think I can still do things like I used to, but I can't.  For example, I think I can keep active (which I used to do, and which the doctors want me to do) but I need people to get me out to be active. While riding my bike, I think I feel fine and then I push a little and it takes me three days to recover.  I work in the backyard and I last an hour and need a rest. I feel like I have no initiative.  Sure I can get things done, but then I pay for it.  And there's more...

More discoveries and thoughts on changes

In a short discussion with a friend about the effects that radiation treatments had on both of his parents I heard some disturbing news: in his experience, the effects of the treatments never went away completely. Of course, I am not conversant with the details of the treatments (length, area, dosage, etc) his parents went through, but his father's treatments were related to prostate cancer, so there is some similarity. Hopefully I will recover, but I know that my digestion and elimination is not close to being back to what I would have called "normal" yet, and it's now 9 weeks after the last radiation treatments were done.

But 9 weeks isn't too long, I suppose.  It's only that I wanted it all to be better in the shortest amount of time, and that, I guess I was way too optimistic. 

And I haven't found any decent information about how the body processes the radioactive *stuff* (for lack of a more erudite term) out.  So, I go along hoping some hint of normality will begin to return.

At the same time, the effects of the hormone treatments continue to increase.  Hot flashes are more frequent, and longer, than before. My joints are sore, and it hurts to stand on my feet in the morning (this all dissipates as I move around) and my energy levels are pretty low.  Add to this a brief stint with a cold this week and there were some days when next to nothing was accomplished.

Normality is far from being restored is the bottom line.  And (warning!  graphic details ahead!) the radiation and hormones are having other effects as well...