Step away from that analysis... oh sure.

So... where was I now?  I was in a fog, to tell the truth. And at the same time I had more information than ever.  My pathology numbers looked like this:

• PSA = 13.7 ("normal" range is 0-4)
• Clinical stage = T2b (meaning at least half the prostate is involved)
• Biopsy results = 7 out of 12 samples showed significant cancer
• Gleason score = 7 (at least 2 samples were 4+3, the rest were 3+4)
• No PSA rate indicated (due to lack of data points)
• Bone scan and CT scan were both negative
  

I went off for a week of bicycling around the Willamette Valley in Oregon, a wonderful Pinot Noir region.  But as I said, I took my laptop to be able to continue some research in the evenings.

While on the trip, I read a research paper, or more correctly, a fragment of a research paper that my radiation oncologist had given me. It studied the results of doing this combined approach to the cancer and the effects that treatment had on reoccurrence of the disease. However, I wanted to see the whole paper and was unable to find it on the web.

So, one evening, I emailed the principal writer of the paper, who is a urologist / radiation oncologist at Mt. Sinai Medical Center in New York. I expected to wait a few days (at least) for a response, but when I checked my mail in the morning, I not only had a response from that doctor, he also sent the paper and asked what my situation was.  Before leaving on the bike ride for the day, I sent him my pathology numbers and expressed some frustration in trying to make a decision on the right direction to go.

When we got back to the hotel that evening, I had another response, advising me to find a doctor who had been trained by him, and then outlining the approach he would take if I were his patient.  His approach closely paralleled the approach my radiation oncologist had specified.  He ended the note by saying he would not advise surgery as it was most likely not curative.

This was a stunning thing to have happened... and I'm at a loss as to how to explain it or how to pay back Dr. Stone for his advice and counsel at a time when I truly needed it.  That he spanned both disciplines was important to me as someone who could provide an objective opinion.  And it allowed me to shift from worry to being worried about choosing the right path to being positive about the path I was about to set in motion.  I was now emotionally and intellectually behind the approach... allowing me to be positive.

Along with the wonderful advice from Dr. Stone, I felt another change in my attitude: Certain things that had been worrying me for a long time became unimportant. They just didn't matter anymore.  Other things became of utmost importance. And the difference between those things was very clear. A great weight had either been lifted from me, or I had put it down... unconsciously.  I felt ready to take the next steps.